Internalizing Self-Worth on Social Media

by: Dan S. Minchom

Competition is essential to a free market economy. It drives companies and business owners to better themselves and their ideas. It can make you feel on top of the world or can make you feel like absolute dirt. Competition inherently has two sides, one winning and one losing, and when you constantly judge and compare yourself to others it can be difficult to know what side you are on. Competition can lead us to depending on external sources for self-worth and when that happens competition goes from being a driving positive force to a crippling negative one.

We live in a world where we are constantly asked to compare ourselves to others. It’s an addiction in our society. Every time we log into Facebook, Instagram or Twitter we are provided with a barrage of numbers informing us of how many people have “liked” our post, photo or tweet as well as how many have “liked” our friends posts. We can see not only how many “friends” and “followers our business or venture has, but also how many our competitors have. It can be incredibly easy to obsess over these numbers. A social media presence is essential to your business and yes; these numbers do help in determining your brand’s popularity. However, these numbers do not take into account your effort, your determination or your actual accomplishments. You can be the most deserving company, and have trouble finding a way to get a lot of likes, followers or reach in a saturated online marketplace.

I’ve had quite a bit of first hand experience with the negative aspects of competition and comparison. Outside of blogging and writing content for Schmooz, I am a freelance musician and I find that in the entertainment field a lot of comparing and judging takes place. Since music, like any art, is subjective, it can be easy to believe that someone is better or worse than you simply by checking out the pictures or posts on social media platforms showing gigs, who a person has been playing with, or where they have been playing but that’s getting it all wrong.

I got into music because playing bass is what I love to do. I decided to become a musician for internal reasons that were entirely independent from what the outside world thought of me. However, as I developed and became part of the Toronto music scene external factors began to take over my sense of self-worth. I began to no longer view personal accomplishments as accomplishments at all, especially if my peers didn’t validate them and it began to eat at me. As a bassist, my role in a band is to be in the background, for the most part, if I’m not noticed it is a good thing. This lack of recognition made me feel worthless and it took a long time for me to recognize that I need to be able to find my own self-worth rather than looking for it in others.

The internalization of self-worth is something that everybody needs to be good at it. It doesn’t matter your position, whether you’re a CEO, office worker or an entertainer, it is important to be able to determine your own value before relying on others to do so. As a small business owner, you need to be able to take delight and inspiration from the small accomplishments. The setting up of a website, the acquisition of your first client, your 100th sale. All of these are milestones and deserve to be celebrated. It can be incredibly easy to dismiss these accomplishments when you’re stuck playing the comparison game. When you compare yourself to a company that’s just sold its 10,000th unit your 100th sale can seem insignificant but it’s important to remember that to get to 10,000, 100 needed to be passed first and it was probably celebrated.

Internalizing self-worth is much easier said than done. We’re conditioned to rely on others to tell us how well we are performing. But, if you are able to find a way to rely on your self to judge how you are doing then you will find a confidence that will carry both you and your business to a stronger, more purposeful place.

To read blogs by other Schmoozers, check out Shelley Sefton's blog about Teens, and Rachel Bartholomew's blog about the many roles of a founder!