"A Cup Full of Faith and Support"

An Interview with Artist and Yoga Teacher, Jessica Cheung, about Seeking Balance and her Journey down a New Path.

Zoe Share (ZS): Can you tell us a bit about your story?

Jessica Cheung (JC): Absolutely; my story is very common. When I was young, I wanted to be an artist; a dancer, a poet - my dreams were infinite. Like many others, I learned that this was a ‘dream’ and not necessarily a reality that could sustain me. So I embarked on fulfilling the dreams of others: I went to business school, and then law school.

My second year of law school was coloured with concealed depression, chronic pain and fatigue, sleepless nights, and anxiety. My bubbly exterior belied the inner turmoil I felt. My face said ‘yes’, while my body said ‘no’. I felt hopeless.

In November 2014; I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. At first, the diagnosis felt like a prison sentence. There is little understanding of the disorder, and there isn’t a cure. I was so full of fear: “What would everyone think of me? What would my parents think? I’m a failure”. It really took its toll on me. Finally, it dawned on me that a life that felt that painful and horrible is not worth living. I decided I was going to heal. I withdrew from school, and made healing my priority. It was a painful process, and at times the pain was so agonizing I was sure I would die. Through therapy, I learned that a part of me may be dying: my ego.

For me, healing begins with self-love. So I committed to start loving myself the way we all deserve to be loved. I found out this was challenging; there was much self-loathing to work through. But just as hate is a learned behaviour, love is also a learnable behaviour, and I was committed to mastering it.

I started filling my toolbox with things that healed me, rediscovering and finding new things that brought me joy. I signed up to become a yoga teacher. I started to draw and paint again. I started dancing and writing. Just over a year later, I’m far from being completely healed, but I have found relief.

ZS: What does self-care look like?

JC: Self-care is very subjective to each individual. Everybody is different and unique. It can also change within each person as time goes on. There are no set generalizations because we all experience our lives in our own way.

Some frameworks to help determine self-care are defining actions as nourishing or toxic, as well as maintaining balance as you would with a well (not to draw more out than you fill). Self-care is dynamic – it doesn’t need to be a chore. Flow with it, but keep it in mind. Self-love is an important component of self-care as well. Look for ways to delight your own heart, and never apologize for taking care of yourself.

ZS: What does it mean to be authentic to you?

JC: So many people are taught at a young age that their dreams are not realistic. This plants doubt within us, and we learn to define ourselves based on our understanding of how others define success.

Authenticity begins with connecting with what is ‘true’, and then going even a layer deeper to what is ‘real’. Until you know what’s real, it is very hard to be authentic. Authenticity requires courage to see yourself as you are, and the willingness to learn to love yourself as you are. Find your truth, find out what’s real – and let that guide your actions. Move and speak with honesty and kindness. That is authenticity.

ZS: What are your thoughts on how people define success?

JC: To me, success is about being fully present in your own skin. I think that most of us have an idea of success that can be very narrow. Limiting success to a specific form can ignore the fact that success is also a feeling. How we get to those feelings is different for everyone, because we’re all different.

True success is personal. If it is to be long lasting, it must be self-determined. There is nothing wrong with looking outward to find models of success, but don’t forget to check in with the ‘you’ dwelling within. Success does not and should not be competitive – just because someone has found success that does not make us a failure. The pool of success is infinite, and should be celebrated.

I’ve come to believe that rejection (or failure) is a form of protection. The truth is that our ‘failures’ are often the dark before the dawn. Have faith. Leap and a net will appear.

ZS:If there was a recipe to creating a balanced life, what ingredients would you need?

JC:

2 Cups of Support Network:

Find support – real support. Find people who remind you that you are strong/smart/brilliant/amazing enough to make it (whatever your ‘it’ is). Be wary of people who make you feel like you need them to ‘make it’. Your support network should make you feel independent, not dependent.

1/3 Cups of Faith:

Become clear on what you want, put out your intention out into the world, and look for signs. Look for opportunities and you will see them. Have faith that what comes to you is what you need to get to your highest good.

A Dash of Corrective Awareness.

Stay mindful. Take time to reflect on how your life makes you feel. We cannot make any healthy changes if we can’t identify what we need to change. Nourish and seek relationships with people that will honestly (and kindly) tell you when your ego monkey is throwing wrenches.

4 Tablespoons of Honouring Limits and Setting Boundaries

Be realistic with what you can do in a day. Learn to say ‘no’ more to people and activities that burn you out. New mantra: you are not expected to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Be clear about your boundaries with others, but most importantly, with yourself. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a lifestyle that actually makes common sense.

Big Scoop of Resilience, Amount to Taste

For the moments you are tested. And you will be. There will be stumbles and obstacles – this is how we grow. Be grateful for the lessons and the growth, it is what being human is all about.

Stay strong and keep at it. You will get through this and come out smiling.

Jessica Cheung is a life enthusiast, artist, and yoga teacher at Jaya Yoga Centre in North York. Not so long ago, she was a commerce and law student. Her studies these days revolve around holistic health and spirituality. Having been diagnosed with fibromyalgia in November 2014, her priority in life is to learn how to heal herself and others through self-empowerment. When she isn’t painting or teaching yoga, she is dancing, baking gluten-free sugar-free goodies, and romping in forests trying to keep up with her beloved husky, Shilo. Connect with her via email: info@jessicacheung.biz. Yoga schedules and more art here: www.jessicacheung.biz